I can't lose him
by WolfKomoki
Summary: Shaun gets shot during a robbery and is brought to St. Bonaventure Hospital. As his own team rushes to save his life in the O.R., Shaun slips into a coma. Canon divergence to 1x08 Apple
1. Chapter 1

**The Good Doctor is owned by ABC**

 **When I saw the promo for Apple, I thought that it was Shaun that got shot. When that didn't happen, I decided to write this fic.**

Shaun had just woken up when his neighbor starts banging on the door. Slowly, he walks up to it, and lets her in.

"You won't believe the crap Armen pulled last night.

He cut the power to my apartment! That's right! No lights, no Wi-Fi, nothing. For fifteen minutes!" She exclaims.

"Mm." Shaun says, wanting her to continue.

"And if I had been on a ventilator, I could've suffocated in that time, right? You're a doctor." Lea insists.

"You're not on a ventilator." Shaun says factually.

"Thank God for that, but I could be! I mean it was dark, I could've tripped. I should sue him." She growls. Shaun's eyes widened when she bites into his apple.

"Sorry, were you gonna eat that? I stress eat." She apologizes. Shaun doesn't know what he did after that, but he'd upset her somehow. Shrugging, he decides to go to the grocery store for another apple. He's holding onto the apple when a man comes in with a gun. The man's shouting at him to put his hands where he can see them, but he wants Shaun to get his wallet too.

"I can't." Shaun speaks.

"Why the hell not?" The gunman demands.

"You said keep my hands where you could see them. My wallet is in my pocket. You can't see my hands if-" he tries to say. He points the gun at Shaun.

"Are you trying to be a hero?" The man demands.

"I'm a surgical resident." Shaun says, trying to calm the man down.

"Huh? Hey! Hey! Shut the hell up! This isn't a game man! I'm serious!" The man shouts.

"Okay!" Shaun gasps, still holding onto his apple.

"Put your damn phone and wallet on the ground right now.

Hey, do you see this, man? I am not playing around! Just put your phone and wallet on the damn ground!" The man demands.

"Come on man just do what he says!" Another customer pleads.

"Please listen to him!" Another customer pleads.

"Shut up! Just shut up and get on your knees! Put your hands and knees on the ground. Get your wallet out right now!" The man demands as the customers complied. Shaun continues to hold onto his apple, covering his ears.

"Hey! I will shoot your crazy ass, I swear to God." The man threatens, pointing the gun at Shaun.

"Okay." He says, utterly terrified.

"Are you listening to me?! I'll do it!" The man shouts.

"Yes." Shaun says, still holding his ears.

"Hey! You hear me? _Hey_!" The man shouts, and that's when he shoots Shaun. Shaun places his hands on his abdomen, feeling blood pour out before his world goes black. The shooter was knocked out after that, and that's when Shaun was rushed into an ambulance. Meanwhile, at St. Bonaventure Hospital everyone was starting to worry.

"Is he okay?" Claire asks with concern.

"We don't know. This is routed through Basecamp." Jared sighs.

"It says Shaun was there, but it didn't say if he was hurt or not." Claire panics.

"Well, EMS has two critical inbounding. Their hands are a little full to chat right now." Melendez sighs. Suddenly an ambulance rushes through, carrying someone on a gurney.

"25-year-old male. Single gunshot wound to the abdomen.

Hypotensive and tachycardic. Two liters of saline en route." The woman informs, and that's when they all stared in shock.

"Oh my God!" Jared gasps.

"Shaun!" Claire gasps. They're moving fast at this point, rushing him to the O.R. He's fading in, and out of consciousness, only able to look at them for a few seconds at a time.

"Shaun? Shaun? Stay with us. You hear me? Stay with me!" Claire pleads, tears in her eyes as he's rushed to the O.R. She can't do this, she can't operate on him. Sobbing, she runs out into the hall, collapsing into the chair next to doctor Glassman as he holds her. The doctors start working on Shaun, trying to get the bullet out, and to get him stable.

 _When Shaun wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital. He recognizes this place: it's St. Bonaventure Hospital. He starts walking through the halls, wondering where everyone was right now. He continues to walk through until he sees someone that looks like his brother._

 _"Steve?" He asks with confusion._

 _"Hi Shaun." Steve greets with a smile._

 _"Am I dead?" Shaun asks._

 _"Not yet." Steve answers, walking him down the hall._

 _"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." Shaun apologizes._

 _"Hey, none of that. We were both kids. You couldn't have saved me then." Steve scolds._

 _"I'm still sorry." Shaun informs as they walk into the hospital's chapel. Slowly, they sit down as Shaun looks at him._

 _"I miss you." He sighs._

 _"I know you do Shaun. Come here." Steve pleads, holding out his arms to give Shaun a hug. Shaun was hesitant at first, but eventually he finds himself walking over to Steve and pulling him in for a hug._

 _"What is this?" Shaun asks. He's still not convinced that he isn't dead right now._

 _"I believe it's called a coma." Steve answers. Shaun's eyes widened. He's in a coma? His injuries must have been more extensive than he thought._

 _"My injuries must have been worse than I thought they were. "Shaun thinks out loud._

 _"Hey Shaun, why don't we get out of this nasty ol' hospital?" Steve suggests._

Claire hates this. She really hates that Shaun needs a ventilator. She hates that he's in a coma even more. The worst thing of all, though, was that she's still on her shift, so she can't even visit Shaun right now. Melendez has been wracking his brain trying to figure out what went wrong with Shaun. They'd done everything right, so why was he currently in a coma? It doesn't make any sense. They did everything right… didn't they?

"Don't do this to yourself man. You did everything that you could to help Shaun." Marcus says, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know man, I still feel like we missed something." Neil sighs.


	2. Chapter 2

"Is he okay?" Claire asks with concern.

"We don't know. This is routed through Basecamp." Jared sighs.

"It says Shaun was there, but it didn't say if he was hurt or not." Claire panics.

"Well, EMS has two critical inbounding. Their hands are a little full to chat right now." Melendez sighs. Suddenly an ambulance rushes through, carrying someone on a gurney.

"25-year-old male. Single gunshot wound to the abdomen. Hypotensive and tachycardic. Two liters of saline en route." The woman informs, and that's when they all stared in shock.

"Oh my God!" Jared gasps.

"Shaun!" Claire gasps. They're moving fast at this point, rushing him to the O.R. He's fading in, and out of consciousness, only able to look at them for a few seconds at a time.

"Shaun? Shaun? Stay with us. You hear me? Stay with me!" Claire pleads, tears in her eyes as he's rushed to the O.R. Andrews, Melendez, Kalu, and several other doctors rush in there, getting to work to try to save Shaun. They're working on him now, trying to get the bullets out of Shaun's abdomen. The procedure seemed to be going well until they heard a loud whine coming from the heart monitor.

"We're losing him!" Melendez shouts, and that's when they start moving. They're trying to get him breathing on his own again, but those damn bullets are still in him. They're moving faster now, desperately trying to get the bullets out of Shaun until finally, they did it. Melendez has been silent the entire time, quietly working to save Shaun. Shaun _cannot_ die, he won't allow it. Eventually they found that they had no choice but to put Shaun on a ventilator. Melendez doesn't understand, they'd done everything right, so Shaun shouldn't have slipped into a coma.

He's wracking his brain at this point, going over everything he did in surgery. He'd done everything right, but he obviously missed something because Shaun is in a coma. He's thinking of every step he took in that surgery, going through it over, and over, and over again. They'd done everything right, so why was he currently in a coma? It doesn't make any sense. They did everything right… didn't they?

"Don't do this to yourself man. You did everything that you could to help Shaun." Marcus says, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know man, I still feel like we missed something." Neil sighs.

"Look Neil, you did everything that you could. Hell, we all did. So, don't go blaming yourself over what-ifs." Marcus sighs.

"Go home, get some rest, then you can visit Shaun tomorrow after your shift." Marcus demands. Melendez yawns. He knows he's right, but he can't help feeling like he screwed up. Glassman was the first one to visit Shaun today. He's sitting in a chair, reading to him from Go set a watchman. He knew that to Kill a mockingbird was his favorite book, so of course he had to read the sequel to Shaun's favorite book. He hates listening to the sound that the ventilator makes. ICU rooms are almost deathly quiet, especially those on a ventilator. It was about three hours later when he goes home for some much-needed rest.

Lea was listening to her music when she realized something, it was awfully quiet next door. Frowning, she turns off the music and decides to walk over there. Slowly, she knocks on Shaun's door. When he didn't answer after an hour, that's when she begins to worry. She remembers him mentioning at some point that he works at St. Bonaventure Hospital. Well, if he's not here, then he's probably just working late. He is a doctor after all. She'll worry about it in the morning.

 _Shaun finds himself in the old bus that he and Steve had run away to. It was a lot smaller than he remembered._

 _"It's a lot smaller now that you're bigger, huh?" Steve smiles._

 _"That makes no sense. The bus is the same size that it always has been. My age has no relevance." Shaun states._

 _"You're right of course. You always were so smart Shaun." Steve smiles. Steve grabs Shaun's hand, and that's when he runs outside, begging him to play. Shaun smiles as he plays with his brother. He's missed this, he's missed Steve. The two of them run outside after that, smiles on their faces as they walk together._

 _"Hey Shaun! Why don't we go back to our house? Daddy misses us!" Steve grins, and that's when Shaun lets go._

 _"You are not Steve." He realizes._

 _"What? Of course, I am! Shaun, you're being silly!" Steve protests._

 _"No, Steve would never want me to go back there. You are not Steve." Shaun insists, and that's when he pushes him down, running away in tears._

 _"Shaun, wait!" Steve calls, but by then, it was too late, Shaun was already gone._

It was later that night when Neil decided to visit Shaun after his shift. He knows that Shaun can't reply to him, but he still feels the need to visit him. He still feels immense guilt for the surgery. He still feels that he must have done something wrong, and it's eating him up inside. Sighing, he sits in the chair, putting his head in his hands.

"Shaun, I'm sorry. I know you can't reply to me, but I need to say this anyway. This is my fault. You shouldn't be like this after your surgery. I must have done something wrong for you to be like this." He sighs. This was getting him nowhere.

"Alright Murphy, listen up. You need to wake up. You need to get better, okay? Please? For me? Can you do that?" He pleads to empty air. The only response he received was silence. Neil sighs. What was he expecting, for Shaun to magically wake up after hearing his little speech? Please. Still, some indication that he'd heard him would be nice.

"Shaun, please. Give me a sign. Let me know that you're still in there." He pleads.


	3. Chapter 3

Lea wakes up around seven the next morning to the sound of an alarm coming from next door. Frowning, she gets dressed and walks over to Shaun's door. Slowly, she knocks on the door, hoping that Shaun would answer it. When Shaun didn't answer the door after forty minutes, Lea decided to take a drive to the St. Bonaventure Hospital. The trip took about an hour thanks to the morning traffic, but at least she made it. Now that she was parked, she slowly walks inside. When she gets there, she's immediately aware that something was wrong. Shaun was nowhere to be found. Hesitantly, she walks up to the front desk.

"Excuse me? Can you tell me where Dr. Shaun Murphy is? He hasn't been home in a couple of days, and I'm worried." She asks. The person at the desk frowns at that question.

"Oh honey, didn't anyone tell you? Dr. Murphy is in a coma." The person frowns. Lea's heart almost stops upon hearing that.

"Can I see him?" She asks.

"It depends: are you family?" The person asks. Lea sighs.

"Never mind, then." She sighs, slowly walking towards the exit. They're not going to let her see him, she's just his neighbor. Why can't they make an exception, just this once? When she walks outside, she runs into Glassman.

"Hey, you're… Lea, right? Shaun's mentioned you before. Have you been to visit him yet?" He asks.

"No, they won't let me. They said it was family only." She answers.

"Wait here, I'll try to pull some strings." He insists, and that's when he walks inside. When he gets inside, he starts talking to the hospital staff.

"Look, Shaun doesn't have any family left, and he's close with Lea. Surely we can make an exception here?" Glassman pleads.

"Fine, but only because you're making the request. No overnight stays though." The staff answers.

"Thank you!" Glassman smiles, and that's when he walks over to Lea.

"Well, you can't stay overnight, but they're letting you visit him. You'll have to wait until eleven though when the visitor's hours start." Glassman informs.

"As long as I can see him." Lea sighs with relief.

"Oh, and when you do see him, you should know that he's on a lot of equipment, so don't be alarmed when you see him, okay?" Glassman informs.

"I understand. Thank you for this. I appreciate it." Lea smiles. Slowly, she looks at the clock. Well, it's only seven-thirty, so she decides to go down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. Her breakfast wasn't much, it was some microwavable pastry, and some coffee, but it was food, so she didn't care. After throwing away the food, Lea logs into her social media account on her phone, slowly sipping on her coffee as she scrolls through her feed. She still has four hours to kill, so she'll be here a while. Sighing, she decides to take a drive to kill some time. When the clock finally reads eleven, Lea drives back to the hospital, and parks. After that, she walks inside, and that's when she goes back to the front desk.

"Hi, can you tell me what room number Shaun Murphy is in?" She asks.

"Room three in the ICU. It's on the second floor." The person at the desk informs, and that's when Lea slowly walks to the elevator, pushing the button for the second floor. Once the doors opened, she slowly walks into the room, closing the door behind her as she sits in the chair next to Shaun. When she sees the ventilator attached to Shaun, she's reminded of the conversation they had that one morning.

" _You won't believe the crap Armen pulled last night. He cut the power to my apartment! That's right! No lights, no Wi-Fi, nothing. For fifteen minutes!" She remembers saying._

 _"Mm." Shaun says, wanting her to continue._

" _And if I had been on a ventilator, I could've suffocated in that time, right? You're a doctor." She added._

 _"You're not on a ventilator." Shaun had said._ He'd been so factual about it too, and now here he was on a ventilator.

"Hey Shaun, sorry I couldn't see you sooner, um, wow." Lea chuckles.

"This is one hell of a coincidence, am I right? I mean, just a few days ago you told me that I wasn't on a ventilator, and yet, here you are, on a ventilator. That's karma I guess, or is it irony? Whatever it is, it's fucked up if I'm being honest." She sighs, lowering herself in the chair.

"I don't know if you can hear me, or if this is even doing any good, but I need to fill the silence, so I'm just going to talk. Shaun, you need to get better, you hear me? You need to wake up, so I can see those beautiful eyes of yours." She pleads.

"Okay Shaun, I'm going to tell you something: I like you, like really like you, so you'd better wake up, so I can tell you this when you're awake." Lea finally admits. She wasn't sure what her feelings were at first, but she quickly realized that she'd fallen in love with Shaun. Lea sighs when he didn't answer.

What was she expecting though, for Shaun to just miraculously wake up because she'd told him that she loved him? Come on, that only works in the movies. Lea wants to sit here with Shaun, but the quiet pppeh-pppeh of the ventilator was starting to make her nervous.

"Just… come back." She pleads, and that's when she leaves. When Lea gets back in her car, she sobs. It's not fair, Shaun is a good person. He doesn't deserve this. She's hitting the steering wheel now, angry tears spilling from her eyes as she thinks of Shaun. If she had never eaten his breakfast, then he wouldn't be in this state. He wouldn't have needed to go to the store, and he wouldn't have gotten shot. Why was this world so cruel?


	4. Chapter 4

_Shaun finds himself standing in a forest. He continues walking until he sees a brown rabbit hopping around. Slowly, he picks the rabbit up, gently stroking its ears. He'd had a rabbit once, when was a kid, and then he watched his father kill it. He had a brother once too, and he died too. Well, if this is what a coma is like, he can't complain._

One week. Shaun Murphy has been in a coma for one week, and no one can figure out why. This time it was Jared's turn to pay Shaun a visit. He slowly walks into Shaun's room, and sits down.

"So, you've been in a coma for a week now. Uh, we still can't figure out why. So… gosh. What am I supposed to say? Look Shaun, you need to wake up, okay? Not just for me, but for Glassman, and Lea. She really cares about you." Jared says. _There's no reason why he should be in a coma. There's no reason why he should still be in a coma, unless… unless he's scared to wake up._

"Is the reason why you're not waking up because you're scared? I get it, okay, you went through something traumatic, but Shaun, the shooter is in prison now. He can't get to you anymore, so you need to wake up, okay? You're safe now. He can't get to you again. So _please_. Come back to us soon, okay?" Jared pleads. He sighs when he gets no response. Well, he tried. When night rolls around, it was Marcus's turn to visit Shaun. He sits in the chair next to him, and sighs.

"Shaun, look man, it's been a _week_ , okay? So, _stop it_. Stop this. Just wake up, and come back to us, okay? We need you. Everyone here needs you. If you won't come back for us, then come back for Glassman. He's been a mess with you like this." Marcus sighs.

 _Shaun continues to hold the rabbit until it jumps out of his arms. He sobs. He'd lost his rabbit when he was a child, and now he'd lost this one too. He wants to wake up, he wants to be out of his coma, but he doesn't know how._

"Is the reason why you're not waking up because you're scared? I get it, okay, you went through something traumatic, but Shaun, the shooter is in prison now. He can't get to you anymore, so you need to wake up, okay? You're safe now. He can't get to you again. So please. Come back to us soon, okay?" That was Jared's voice. _Maybe if he goes back to the hospital, he can wake up again. That would make sense, right? He starts walking, trying to find his way out of the forest._

 _He's not sure where he is, but he keeps going anyway. After what feels like hours, he finds himself standing outside of the forest. He sees a house in the background, and that's when he starts walking. He's walking for several miles before he's forced to stop at a motel._

Two weeks have passed since then, and Shaun still hasn't woken up. Glassman is starting to get very frustrated. Why, why won't Shaun wake up? _What_ did they miss? _Shaun finds himself staring at the building to St. Bonaventure. He starts walking. Eventually he finds himself inside the building. He sees everyone in the hospital going about their normal routine. They don't seem to see him, though. He's read about things like this. They're called out of body experiences. Shaun had never really believed in that sort of thing, until now that is. He finds himself walking into the elevator, and that's when he sees Glassman._

 _Dark circles were under his eyes. Shaun could see the worry on his face._

 _"I'm sorry. I want to wake up for you, and I can't." Shaun says, not that he expected him to hear him. He continues to stand there until Glassman goes to ICU-3, and that's when Shaun sees himself. He's hooked up to a lot of machines, which is normal for a coma patient. He slowly walks over to his body and grabs his own hand._

Doctor Glassman barely had time to sit down before Shaun wakes up and starts fighting the ventilator.

"Oh my God! Shaun? Shaun?" He gasps. Suddenly he's running out in the hall, screaming that Shaun is awake and that he needs some help in here. Soon the doctors and nurses are running into his room, working as fast as they can to get the ventilator off him. Once they got it off him, Shaun slowly looked around in confusion.

"Shaun? Hey. You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma. You're gonna be okay now." Neil informs, speaking in a calm, reassuring voice as he tries to calm him. Shaun slowly blinks as awareness comes to him. _I'm in St. Bonaventure. I've been in a coma. I was shot in a grocery store when I was trying to buy another apple for my breakfast._ Shaun slowly blinks.

"How long have I been in a coma?" He asks.

"Two weeks. Man, you really had us worried there." Neil informs. Shaun frowns.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." He apologizes.

"Hey, that's not your fault. You didn't _choose_ to be in a coma." Aaron says. Shaun was still thinking about what happened when he was in a coma. Did all of that really happen, or was he just imagining it?

"Guys, let's let Shaun rest now, okay?" Aaron pleads as they all leave the room. Shaun lies there for a while staring up at the ceiling. His mind was still spinning from the experience he had while in his coma. Was that really Steve, was any of that real? Was he dreaming? Shaun ended up falling asleep around four in the morning, much to his frustration. When Shaun wakes up the next day, he's surprised to see Lea by his side.

"Hello Lea." Shaun greets.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're awake. Shaun, I have something to tell you." Lea informs. Shaun blinks.

"Okay." He says.

"I like you, like really like you. Shit, Shaun, I think I love you." Lea informs.

"You do? Well then I love you too." Shaun smiles.


End file.
